so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
