You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
