Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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