There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
