peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
