your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
