dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
