you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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