I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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