got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
