wat bout pragnant strippers??
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
