Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
