I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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