Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
