As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize