just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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