people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its about making memories worth repressing
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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