It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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