She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
