You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize