I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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