I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
