I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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