Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
