hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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