His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
