Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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