On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
