All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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