I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
