can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
