dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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