i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
