i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
