is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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