the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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