Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
