Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
