Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
organizing the empties. That sober.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
