You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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