just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
