where am i from again
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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