And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize