oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
