I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
