READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ok first of all what the fuck
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
