The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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