Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
