Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Every concussion has its silver lining
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
