the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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