dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
