We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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