Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
not ubering you a puppy
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Two words: nipple clamps
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