god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
