I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
