It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
