he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
