Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
