Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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