He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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