I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
