Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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