...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
