We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
