do herpes really smell.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
