FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
