I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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