Your dad touched me again.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
